My brother is getting married – Do I help plan or sit quiet?

My brother is getting married – Do I help plan or sit quiet?

I feel like I know more than my brother does about weddings, but do I sit quiet and let him get on with his own wedding himself?

This can sometimes be a tricky situation. It is their day, so I would suggest that you don’t want to take over. If they ask for your help, or they seem particularly lost, I would say step in. Especially if they are about to make a costly mistake. However, it’s important to remember that you and your brother might have different tastes. This means that what he might think is a good idea, you might not. Since it’s his day, not yours, you might need to bite your tongue on some occasions.


I can personally relate to this! My brother is getting married next year and has recently started planning his wedding. He’s a fairly stubborn person, so doesn’t take well to a constant bombardment of ideas. Strangely he doesn’t like when I point out that I know more. I feel that the best way to go about this is to make suggestions, but ultimately to leave the decisions up to them. For example, my brother told me he wanted a coastal venue for an intimate wedding. I contributed one idea, which was Tunnels Beaches in Ilfracombe, but then stepped back to allow them to do their own searching and site visits – in the end they went for my suggestion, but ultimately it was their decision.


It’s about judging the situation for yourself. Has your brother asked for your help? If so, awesome – that’s more than my brothers done! But try and be conscious on how much you’re helping. If you feel like you’re taking over, you probably are. You have to find the line between suggesting ideas and telling them what to do. It’s ok to suggest ideas but, if your brother is anything like mine, try to refrain from being too full on with your wedding planning savvy!

Question Asked by Kate